A Joke from Henry...
While I was driving down the M50 today, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked:
"Runway too short?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused.
"A what...? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, Work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously,
"And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?"
To which I politely replied,
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
Speeding ticket: £105.00
Penalty Points: 3
Court costs: £45
Look on copper's face: Priceless
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